“It’s not my fault that they chose to be in a relationship during the best years of our lives.” One of my friend’s made this comment and initially it made me laugh…but now, weeks later, I still can’t get it out of my head; and it’s for a reason, I completely agree.
I’ll be honest, I was always more of a relationship girl. For the past seven years of my life I’ve been in a relationship, with only a one-year period between the two relationships, in which I was single. Just writing that, freaks me out.
While being in those relationships had plenty of cons, I have to admit they did have pros. But no matter what pros I attained from these relationships, it doesn’t even begin to graze the benefits I’ve gained from being single.
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Knowing you’re done with school, have a job, and are literally able to pick up and leave if YOU decided to, is THE most satisfying feeling in the world. You don’t feel the weight of another person, you don’t have to worry or take into account another individual. Let’s be honest, jobs are scarce, and if you find a job in the city you desire, you’re lucky; if the job is in your field–you’re a unicorn.
The idea that people might turn down a great opportunity for themselves because their significant other doesn’t want to move or leave their current job, is crazy, but it happens all the time.
Personally, I’ve been more selfish this past year of being single than in my whole life, and guess what? I don’t care. I want it all.
The 20’s are undoubtedly the selfish years of your life. You don’t have to apologize. You can leave someone for absolutely no reason, you can take off and travel around the world for 6 months and owe an explanation to absolutely no one. It’s the time in our lives in which most of us just finished school, don’t have children or a spouse and have the option of doing just what makes us happy. Pleasing ourselves becomes the priority.
We have more time and freedom than we’ve ever had before, and it’s unfair to not allow yourself to explore that freedom to the fullest for at least some time in your 20’s. Just a hunch here, but going out on a Wednesday will probably be frowned upon when you’re older and have a family. I say it to my friends all the time who complain about being single and having “no luck,” trust me, being single in your 20’s is a stroke of luck, even if you can’t see it.
For some period in your 20’s, it’s imperative that you’re single. This is the time in our life when we get to decide who we want to be, and how can you really focus on what you want for your life if there’s another person who is immensely influencing your decisions for your future?
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I’m an extrovert, in or out of a relationship. When I’m single I become adventurous and more interested in doing new things. Relationships feel safe, they’re comforting. You have someone to catch you if you push yourself too far and fall. People tend to stay in relationships for far too long because of that reason.
A lot of us are just afraid of being alone, and sometimes that means staying with the wrong person.
While intentional or not, most couples tend to be in their own bubble, which is great, when you’re ready to settle down. But while you’re single, don’t be afraid of being rowdy. Lose sleep and welcome spontaneity into your life. Become friends with everyone, enjoy having different friends and social circles, because when you’re older these are the stories you are going to remember forever and share with your children. These are the stories you will treasure.
Travel and visit your friends. For many, this is the period in our lives when we do the most amount of traveling. See the world before it becomes too late and you can’t, because you have too many strings attached.
Work hard. Motivate yourself to do better and to reach your goals in school. Push hard in your profession. Get ahead and take advantage of the fact that if you are promoted or have the opportunity to work or study abroad, you can do it.
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Being single ultimately means freedom, getting to do what you want, when you want and having no guilt about it. You want to go camping across America? Sure, go ahead. You want to travel to Brasil to go to Carnival with people you met during World Cup? Knock yourself out.
Getting out of relationships I’ve noticed most people say “Wow, I’ve been missing out on all of this?!” including myself, because let’s be honest when you’re in a committed relationship, your behavior is definitely altered. I think you finally know you’ve met the right person when you meet a person and think to yourself “Wow, I’ve been missing out on all of you.”
Until then, don’t sweat being single, after all, we’re just 20-something-year-olds.